Sending this on Monday morning instead of Friday. Sorry for the delay, but life happens. Hopefully your week is off to a good start!
New from the Blogs
Sharing – Life-Changing Benefits of Self-Compassion — www.childabusesurvivor.net
Child abuse can be all about shame and guilt. Because the entire world wants to believe that things are fair when we grow up, trying to square that belief with what happened to us as children naturally leads us to believe it’s our fault. You can’t have self-compassion and also believe the abuse you suffered was your fault. We have to get past this idea that the world is fair and we get what we deserve. It’s simply not true. We have to be willing to have the same compassion for ourselves that we would have for another crime victim. Everyone deserves to have some compassion for others and learn how to have compassion for themselves.
Sharing – The idea that many people grow following trauma may be a myth — www.childabusesurvivor.net
Over the years of having this website, I’ve had many people suggest that my abusive childhood made me more compassionate and a kinder human being. Or, maybe it gave me a better sense of humor or made me more spiritual. Or maybe it didn’t. No version of me wasn’t abused. If there had been a version of me that wasn’t abused, he could be more compassionate. He could be a complete narcissist. He could be funnier or kinder. He could be a selfish ass. No one knows. That version of me is Schrodinger’s cat. It’s all the possibilities because the box can never be opened to see what’s inside.
Sharing – Is It Dangerous to Believe in a Just World? — www.childabusesurvivor.net
The danger comes in when we try to rationalize this belief because it demands we find a reason why whenever someone suffers some sort of calamity. Otherwise, we’d have to admit the world isn’t fair. We don’t want to do that, so we make up a reason why they deserve it. This, of course, is classic victim blaming
Shared from Elsewhere
9 more ways to show your friends you love them, recommended by NPR listeners : NPR — www.npr.org
Last month, we asked NPR’s audience to share creative ways they show affection in their platonic relationships. Some ideas? Ask friends how they’re really doing … and give them the gift of time.
How to Protect Children from Sexual Abuse and Grooming, with Feather Berkower – Low-Carb Conversations — www.lowcarbconversations.com
Episode 497 with guest Feather Berkower
Our guest today is Feather Berkower, a licensed clinical social worker with a Master’s of Social Welfare from U
— Mental Health Commission of Canada (@MHCC_) October 8, 2022
It’s OK to Take a Day to Just ‘Exist’ Instead of Fighting Your Depression — themighty.com
A woman living with major depressive disorder discusses the feeling of being tired of fighting depression, and why it’s OK to take a day to “just exist.”
Why does mental health and wellbeing for all need to be a global priority? | UN Today
Each year, the World Mental Health Day is marked on October 10th with events and campaigns in an increasing number of countries across the globe. This year’s theme is “Make mental health and wellbeing for all a global priority”
After experiencing trauma we feel apologetic for how we show up in the world because of a hijacked nervous system & internal shame. The irony is no one asked our permission before harming us, therefore we do not need permission to show up as we are & heal as we see fit.
— Nate Postlethwait (@nate_postlethwt) October 10, 2022
From the Archives
Linked: Writing a thank-you note is more powerful than you think — www.mikemcbrideonline.com
It’s not just a nice thing to do, it actually improves your own mood to show gratitude, and people receiving one do not feel as awkward about getting them
Yes You Do Know Someone With Mental Health Issues
Almost two years ago I wrote about the prevalence of childhood abuse and told you that you know victims of childhood sexual abuse. I told you plainly
What We Really Need is Compassion — www.childabusesurvivor.net
I see this a lot in our communities as well. Again, empathy when dealing with an individual child, or supporting a loved one with a mental health struggle is great, but trying to feel the pain of all of the abuse survivors we are likely to come across in the world online, is a sure way to overwhelm yourself and burn out. I’ve seen it over and over again. Much like COVID-19, these issues are global, and huge. Trying to take on that much pain is an impossible task, and isn’t actually going to be helpful. Much better, is to develop compassion. As the guests on the show discuss, compassionate emotions push us to act. That act, helping others, does more good for them, but is also good for us. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, and shutting down, we are taking some small amount of control over the situation, and acting on it in a way to helps. We become the helpers that Mr. Rogers so famously talked about. Being a helper, makes us happier. It sets aside our own anxiety and struggle to do something, which is always a good way to move beyond those things. So, the question may be not only what are you doing to take care of yourself during this time of great anxiety, but what are you doing to help others?
We Are Not “Those People”, We’re Everywhere — www.childabusesurvivor.net
As part of the World Mental Health Day Blog Party, I wanted to take a moment to talk about stigma, and also provide a little math lesson. I’ve said it