It’s Friday. A Fall weekend is coming and I hope you all find some time for self-care and reflection. Find the small wins in your life and celebrate them. They are worth it.
New from the Blogs
Sharing – I’m a psychologist – and I believe we’ve been told devastating lies about mental health — www.childabusesurvivor.net
Of course, he’s right. What he sees in the UK is the same thing I see from my “much less qualified but simply paying attention” seat in the US, and I’m sure many of you see where you live as well. Our current mental health resources are designed to help “fix” something wrong with us. I can’t say they even do that well, but at least that is the plan, and that plan makes sense for many mental health struggles. It is only part of the picture, though. In all seriousness, how would the 6-8 therapist sessions a good insurance plan covers help someone escaping domestic abuse or trying to feed a family on a minimum wage job? How is the teenager being abused at home, bullied at school, and overwhelmed by the bleakness of what the world might look like when they are an adult supposed to find hope in one crisis text line conversation? How will we provide hope and connection to people without first understanding their world and how they navigate it every day?
Sharing – How You Can Make an Impact in 30 Seconds Without Knowing It — www.childabusesurvivor.net
Beth gives some concrete examples and, more than that, reminds us all to remember how good it felt when someone acted in a small, compassionate way for us too. It’s important to remember those moments and how much of an impact they can have.
Mental Health Issues Are Not Internal or External, They’re Both! — www.childabusesurvivor.net
We can’t change society by getting more people mental health treatment, but we can’t treat individuals with anxiety and depression by only making societal change, which is likely to be a long process. We need to do both.
Reviews Elsewhere – 10 Mental Health Books For Middle School Kids — www.childabusesurvivor.net
Middle School can be a trying time for kids. They are getting older but aren’t teenagers yet. They are going through changes and dealing with big issues without much experience dealing with emotions. Luckily, Sarah Zellner offers up these suggestions for books about mental health targeted at this age range.
Shared from Elsewhere
When Healing Requires Choosing Among Family – TMHR — trauma.blog.yorku.ca
Joining a community can provide crucial support for LGBTQ+ members who face invalidation, rejection, and abuse from family of origin.
Reducing sexual violence could be key in reducing rates of teenage mental ill-health — www.linkedin.com
University College London researchers have found that the prevalence of severe mental health problems among 17-year-olds could drop by as much as 16.8% for girls and 8.
Just a reminder that some of the people you encounter this coming week with the biggest smiles and the funniest jokes, who seem to have it all together are going through the darkest, loneliest and most painful battles. Be kind to everyone, regardless of the mask they are wearing.
— Chloe Bellerby (@ChloeBellerbyMH) October 1, 2022
Why having an unpredictable childhood can be traumatizing | Salon.com — www.salon.com
A study unpacks the origins of adult mental illness — and finds a correlation with unpredictable childhoods
Loneliness and unhappiness accelerate aging faster than smoking, study shows — www.medicalnewstoday.com
Researchers have found that certain psychological issues — such as hopelessness, unhappiness, and loneliness — could increase a person’s biological age more than smoking.
While you might be doubting yourself, someone else is admiring your strength.
— Julie Levine (@JulieLevineArt) October 2, 2022
Managing Your Team’s Anxiety — www.linkedin.com
When one of my direct reports is having mental health challenges, I always want to get it right– but I haven’t always nailed it. Sometimes, I want to take in all their pain and help them.
Identifying the Root Causes of Shame | Psychology Today — www.psychologytoday.com
Shame is a heavy weight, but it can be dissolved.
From the Archives
Quick Thought Number 4 – The Appreciation File in the Digital Age — www.childabusesurvivor.net
Have you reached out and sent anyone a message telling them that you appreciate them recently? Way back in 2014 I wrote about having an appreciation file,
What Does it Mean to Hold Space For Someone? — www.childabusesurvivor.net
For me, I’ve always viewed holding space in terms of that word, safe. When I hold space for someone I’m not solving their problem, or questioning them. I’m simply letting them be. Whatever that might look like at that moment, and I’m making sure that they are safe. It means making sure that being in my presence, either in person or virtually, is a place where they are free to cry, vent, question, or whatever form of expression is needed to help at that moment. It means being the person who is simply there, listening, offering support, but above all else, keeping them safe, physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. I also recognize how difficult that really is to do. Many of us weren’t raised to “hold space”, but to fix things. We see someone crying and our instinct is to fix, to do something to get them to stop crying, instead of simply giving them space to cry. Or we want to run out and correct instead of simply allowing people the space to tell their story safe from the worry of the person hearing it will overreact. This is so hard for us, we want to correct injustice, to fight for the people we care about, but sometimes by doing so, we eliminate their safe space to simply tell their story and stop listening to what they want from us. That is the opposite of holding space. How do you hold space for others, and for yourself?
You Are More Than Your Job — www.mikemcbrideonline.com
I think this is something that many of us have been realizing to some degree in the past couple of years. We are more than our work, and there are things in life that are more important than our work. I enjoyed the questions and challenges Arthur lays out as well, so you should go read the article and consider those. As I read through them I had one thought, over and over again. How many of my friends don’t even care about what I do for a living? I feel very lucky to have those folks. The people who’ve remained friends regardless of my current career status, The ones who might not even really understand what I do for a living. Because they ground me, and remind me that in actuality, what I do during my workday isn’t really that big of a deal. It’s all well and good to be great at my job, but the important people in my life are there because of the relationship we have, not because I’m good at legal tech, and I want them in my life because of who they are, not what their job is. That’s a big deal.