childabusesurvivor.net

Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information- Issue #38

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After a weekend focused on a lovely wedding and spending time with friends we’ve not seen in a couple of years, it’s been hard to turn around and have tragic events overwhelm the world again. It’s been a reminder not only that life is fragile, but the importance of enjoying the people we love whenever we can. If you are struggling with grief, fear, frustration, and anger that is expected given the state of the world right now. You can feel all of those things. I hope you find positive ways to use those feelings to push for change, but most of all I hope they remind you to reach out to each other and make a positive difference in each other’s lives while we can.


New From the Blogs

Sharing - The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Our Worth and How I’ve Let Them Go
Sharing – The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Our Worth and How I’ve Let Them Gowww.childabusesurvivor.net
Orly’s first step to overcoming this was actually talking to someone about it. I cannot emphasize this enough. The shame we carry from childhood is all-consuming to us. It’s the secret we expend massive amounts of energy trying to hide and obsessing over. The things we feel shame about are the things that impact our day-to-day lives in adulthood. And, for the most part, the shame we feel isn’t true. It’s not based in reality. Orly isn’t “not smart” any more than I am, and I do not deserve punishment any more than you. These are simply the stories we took away from our childhood. This is also why that first reaction is so important. When we finally work up the courage to share our secrets, our shames, it’s painful to have them mocked or disbelieved.

Sharing - Overcoming Depression Demands Flexible Thinking, Not Positive Thinking
Sharing – Overcoming Depression Demands Flexible Thinking, Not Positive Thinkingwww.childabusesurvivor.net
Most things in life are not that clear. They are ambiguous. I know that when I’m unable to think beyond simplistic right and wrong it is very likely part of my own struggle. I’m falling for the cognitive biases that try to convince me that all the negative things I’ve ever experienced are the truth, and all of the positive things have been a lie. It’s these cognitive biases that prevent many people from healing. Simply put, you can’t heal when you are unable to believe healing is possible for you.

Sharing - Queer survivors of sexual abuse are frequently blamed for their own victimization
Sharing – Queer survivors of sexual abuse are frequently blamed for their own victimizationwww.childabusesurvivor.net
I’ve talked about this before. As a male survivor, I have spent years on this site dealing with people that simply assumed I was gay, for no other reason than the fact that I was abused by a male perpetrator. I’ve known plenty of other men who’ve been shunned because of a similar assumption, or the much worse assumption that survivors, especially male survivors or gay men, are likely to turn around and also sexually abuse others. None of this is accurate. Yes, the abuse can leave you feeling unsafe and uncomfortable in your own body and with your own sexuality. That is a side effect of being raped sometimes. That is not something anyone should be ashamed to talk about and no matter where they land on the spectrum of gender and sexual preference they deserve the respect and privacy to figure that out themselves. None of us asked your opinion, and none of us want to hear about your own illusions of how sexuality works after being sexually abused at a young age. The more mature attitude is to recognize that healing from sexual abuse is a process that looks different for everyone, whether they are gay, straight, bisexual, non-binary and any other thing you want to consider. We all deserve a better response than to be accused of bringing it upon ourselves.

Shared from Elsewhere

People Need to Stop Using Mental Illness as a Scapegoat for Violence - RELEVANT
People Need to Stop Using Mental Illness as a Scapegoat for Violence – RELEVANTrelevantmagazine.com
Editor’s Note: This piece originally ran in November of 2017 following the mass shooting at Sutherland Springs church in Texas that killed 26 people. This

Linked: How to Be a Mental Health Ally
Linked: How to Be a Mental Health Allywww.mikemcbrideonline.com
It’s that first line that should grab your attention because so many people do not see mental health struggles as something that impacts them, or will impact them. But the numbers don’t lie. Someone you know, probably even someone very close to you, is dealing with mental health struggles as you read this. Someone you work with is doing the same themselves or supporting someone else who is. How great would it be if we all recognized that and provided a safe place for them to talk about those struggles instead of not welcoming their voices and causing more harm? I don’t think we can even imagine how helpful that would be because we see it so infrequently. It’s time for that to change.

How You Talk to Yourself Matters | Psychology Today
How You Talk to Yourself Matters | Psychology Todaywww.psychologytoday.com
The most important conversation you are having is the one in your head.

Diagnosed With Depression? Here Are My Top 10 Must-Follow Social Media Accounts
Diagnosed With Depression? Here Are My Top 10 Must-Follow Social Media Accountsthemighty.com
Writer Ameera Ladak shares the best social media accounts you need to follow if you’ve been diagnosed with depression.

Mental Health Awareness Month: My Story of Living with Anxiety - Career and Workplace Expert and Speaker, Multigenerational Work Expert, Lindsey Pollak
Mental Health Awareness Month: My Story of Living with Anxiety – Career and Workplace Expert and Speaker, Multigenerational Work Expert, Lindsey Pollaklindseypollak.com
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Since the start of Covid, I’ve become increasingly vocal about my own lifelong struggle with anxiety and how it has impacted my work life. If my speaking up can normalize anxiety and remove the stigma for just one person, it’s worth talking about. My official diagnosis is Generalized Anxiety […]

Moms search for solutions after daughters die by suicide - ABC News
Moms search for solutions after daughters die by suicide – ABC Newsabcnews.go.com
Among teen girls, suspected suicide attempts increased by 50% in 2021, according to the CDC.

From the Archives

Another Good Reason to Talk About Child Abuse
Another Good Reason to Talk About Child Abusewww.childabusesurvivor.net
Going back over 10 years ago to when I first started this blog, the goal has always been to help survivors feel less alone. Last week I was reminded, yet

It's OK to Just Enjoy Something For Yourself
It’s OK to Just Enjoy Something For Yourselfwww.childabusesurvivor.net
I came upon this idea later in life than some of you may have. Thanks to an abusive childhood and a fairly demanding church involvement in my teens and twenties, I was about 30 when I finally gave myself the freedom to take on a hobby just because I enjoyed it. For me, I grew up never feeling good enough or worthy. I needed someone else to tell me it was OK for me to do something, or heaven forbid to spend money on something just because I liked it.

Disclosure Seems Like a Simple Word, It's Not a Simple Thing To Do
Disclosure Seems Like a Simple Word, It’s Not a Simple Thing To Dowww.childabusesurvivor.net
Ah, the art of the disclosure. Actually coming forward and telling someone about the childhood abuse you experienced. Seems like it should be so simple.

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